McDisgusting

Is there ever a polite way of telling someone they live in filth? From time to time I find myself going into places that is beyond livable. And yesterday I had one of those lovely experiences...I was met at the door by, wait, let us start with coming up to the house. I see the address numbers on a sign by the street and make the turn into the driveway. Here is where I first hear the lovely sounds of a small dog barking to greet me, but couldn't see him through the tall grass, always a plus to not run over customers pets in their driveways. I see this house that just looks run down with two of the windows boarded up. And on the corner of this house I once again see the house address on the side of this P.O.S. and start thinking AWESOME!!! But as I got further into the landscaping nightmare, I saw a car parked behind the shack. And low and behold a single wide was back there with it. Not much better but more put together then the 1st house. Now at this point I have finally got to see what was barking at me, a little male daschund that was as friendly as could be. And another white Toto looking dog that just kinda sat there and stared at me. I knocked on the door and out came a women that has, how do I say it, let herself go?! Wearing a t-shirt and I'm not too sure if anything else was under there, but a there was a very large t-shirt on her. From what I could tell the inside had about the same effort put into cleaning it as the outside did, with just a hint of Pine Sol in the air...ha ha just kidding, it smelled like old McDonald's and farts coming out of that place! There in the back ground I could see the silhouette of something behind her, not sure what it was, but it was large. I was explaining to her that I had installed her service and was wondering if she had hooked up her modem yet? She told me no and that her son said he could do it. At this point the person behind her came out of the shadows and appeared in the daylight. It was a young girl, maybe late teens early twenty's. I'm not going to comment on her for the fact I kinda feel sorry for her, seeing how she is living. I'm guessing  this was my customers daughter, or girlfriend to the son. I went and checked to make sure that everything was working as it should at the box and came back to tell her it was good to go. This is when I met the son, he too was over the 350 lbs. mark and wasn't wearing a shirt? WTF, I weigh a lot less than that and barley EVER take off my shirt in the house, how in the heck can this guy feel comfortable walking around outside???? It's really weird how one's nipples start to oval out after they become so large, only on males of course, no need pissing off the ladies. And besides they usually keep their shirts on. I did see the one women tell the little dog to stop trying to come in the house, which I think was a smarter choice for the dog then he realized. Now I know this seems like a rant about overweight people, but it's not, it's about people being lazy and not taking care of themselves, their pets, and their personal property. Damn you live there, take a little pride and clean up.
Sorry for the rant just venting, have a good day,
Marc

Internet, The Wave Of The Future...For Old People?????

Theme for this post: OLD PEOPLE ON THE INTERNET LIKE PORN TOO!!!
The other day I had the opportunity to meet a very nice elderly couple. They invited me in, and we went to the spare bedroom where their modem was. He started by telling me what he had already tried and what has been happening prior to my arrival. Then the wife chimes in about her having troubles with calling long distance. I then noticed a weird little look come across her husbands face after she spoke. Not shortly after that they both left the room. I started to look at the modem and do some test when I heard them start to argue/disagree but not in a drunkin' slap around and cursing kind of way, more like if Mary Poppin's and Nanny McPhee were to meet in a back alley in Britain. But back to the point, they were discussing how she needs to stop bothering the repairman with stupid things like long distance and voice mail, he needs to worry about getting the internet back up. "Besides, you talk to darn much to that nosey sister of yours anyways! I thought we moved here to get away from her?!" Now the reason I know this is because, they are old and they tend to speak loudly at each other so the other can hear. Now knowing this, and the fact that they stepped out of the room so that I wouldn't, makes it that much more awkward when they return. Both come in staring at me as I'm sitting on their floor messing with the jack. The tension seemed to die down after I mention how long it had been since I had watched The Price Is Right, oh that's right forgot to tell you that The Price Is Right was playing on their TV. See, these are things you learn while out amongst the normal people, to try and diffuse a situation by making whoever is upset feel relaxed. And something about Drew Carey and "A NEW CAR!!!" that just makes the blue hair's calm. http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=blue%20hair We got everything fixed with his internet, and I pulled the misses on the side while the mister played on his computer, and explained to her what she needed to do to get her long distance fixed. I then left her my number, and told the husband I did so, just so we don't get another call from a mad husband... (earlier post), and I was on my way. Good times with some relics....ha ha ha  Love me some oldies! One more for the road, I had another older guy that had internet problems, but he lived with 3 fat little dogs and that was it. He smoked like a chimney, and that is always a plus for someone that doesn't smoke anymore. But while I'm trying to figure out what's going on, his desktop switches over to his screen saver. Which was set on his picture file I guess. Random pics of family members are popping up. Some people more than others but just random memories. Not a big deal, right? WRONG, then here and there a down shirt shot would pop up. But it was of some of the teenage girls that were in the other family pictures, and they weren't what I would exactly call consented pictures. Shit like that really makes me feel uneasy, this is his personal weirdness, not something I should be privy too. But he knew what was on it, and didn't try to make the screen saver go away...weird pervert is how I'm chalking that one up!
Have a great day and stay weird normal people,
Marc

Hit Me Like a Ton of Cat Shit Bricks

I entered a house today that completely smelled like very strong body odor. Now you would think as you moved around this house it would calm down, but it didn't, every room I went into, it was almost like Ben Stiller in Along Came Polly playing basketball http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=OSqvy93s4ao... eeeewwwwhhhh!!! How can one live in this funk, but I guess much like the crazy cat ladies, after your used to the ammonia cat pee smell you just don't notice it anymore. Thank goodness I only had to be in there about 4.5 minutes! Yesterday, I was asked, well told when I got in that I would be going to another area to help out. No problemo, should be no trouble at all. Boy was I wrong! There was people, stop lights, and traffic everywhere. I'm used to being on a road for an hour and not seeing anyone pass me in that time frame. Here, you better be looking or they will run your butt over, then honk at you for getting pieces of you on their hood. It's been about 6 1/2 years since I've lived up north and have become slightly accustom to the slower paced life. But enough about me being a deer in headlights around civilization, the third job I had in this area was in an middle class neighborhood, nothing out of the ordinary. I checked the customers trouble out, and seemed to be working fine on the outside, but no one was home. So I called the can be reached number to see if I could get access inside. A lady answers and after explaining who I was and what I found, she asked if I would mind staying th+re until she got there? I told her I would and she arrived about 10 minutes later. We greet and then go inside to check her internet, bam we walk into cat urine castle, you know, the kind that takes your breath away. Monday's are always the best! After I start testing on her modem, she asks me a question. "Can anyone just get access to your cell phone records?" "Excuse me?" "Well since you work for the phone company I figured you might know." "No ma'am, not really sure, but why?" My own fault at this point....right....I asked her, should have just kept my mouth shut. Now really quick, I forgot to mention that her husband had passed away back in January of this year. So she explains that she has a boyfriend and that he was almost fired today. "Why is that?" I'm just glutten for punishment...lol. Well his company said they had obtained his cell phone records and had all her text messages she had sent to him. And since she was a customer they, the company, felt it was in bad taste for him to date a customer. So I asked "Was this his company cell phone?" "No, his personal." "Well then, I can't see how they can get his cell phone records without a court order." She then emphatically explained to me this is what he is telling her and that she is going to go to Verizon and find out why all this is going on! At the time I thought nothing of it and wished her luck. That night I was telling my wife about the incident, and the first thing she said was, "He's trying to get rid of her." Damn, now that I think about it, he was. And she was buying this story...LOL. Well I guess she will learn eventually. But I think the moral of the story here is, don't get a boyfriend 2 months after your husband of a bunch of years passes away, oh and clean that damn cat litter!!!
Enjoy everyone,
Marc