Things That Make You Go Hmmmmmmmmm?!

   Today I bring something to the table that still puzzles me from time to time. I've been doing house visits for at least 10 years, and every now and again I come across this. I knocked on the customers door and a young woman came out to greet me. She told me she had to put her dog up that was in the yard that I needed to get into. Having brought out a collar with her she then took the dog around the backside of the house. About that time someone else came out of the house, I'm guessing to stay with me in case I needed anything. The problem here is that I'm not really sure what sex this person was. I even tried to strike up a conversation with it, but damn that didn't get me anywhere. So I have come to the conclusion, it was either a prepubescent boy, or a, what's the politically correct term...gay female trying to look like a prepubescent boy. And not that it really matters, but I would like to know what I'm talking too. Just in case I make an off colored joke, I want to know that I offended the wrong person. LOL just kidding, I'm in customer service, I would never intentionally offend anyone on purpose. This makes me think back to the time I had to call a customer before I was to arrive at their house. Now my Facebook friends already know this story but, here it goes anyways. Now it's our companies policy to call a customer that your working on before, during, and after. So I did as I was threatened to do and called this certain customer. Talked to them asked questions, blah blah blah, ended with "thank you ma'am, I will see you in a few minutes. Bye bye." To get there and find that the customer was an older man living alone. And I don't think he liked the ma'am comment, from his facial expression the whole time I was there.
   Here is another little tid bit of info on me, not that any of you care, but I'm gonna tell you anyways. My user name on here is crsh3x, I've used this name for years I guess since I was about 26 years old. Wow 15 years, damn I'm getting old. But where this name came from was when I worked at Bell Atlantic in Maryland I had 3 different accidents in my work van within a year and a half, which led to my early retirement from said company. So my user name is meant as crash 3 times, which equals unemployment. Ha ha ha, everything happens for a reason.
Ok, that's it for a Saturday,
Marc

Well Look At That Almost 2000

   First I would like to take the time and thank the 12 of you out there reading my blog. As it gets closer to 2000 views, I never thought anyone would even read it once let alone 2000 times. So once again thanks.

   Yesterday I had a customer that I've had before, but it has been some time since I had been there. I did remember he was from Jersey or somewhere in close proximity, just because of the way he talked. I get there and he greets me at his screen door. He is about 4' 8", no shirt on and has this weird golden brown old person tan....uuuuhhhhhmmmmm ok. Reminded me of what the Pillsbury Doughboy would look like right out of the oven. Now I know you should feel comfortable in your own home, but damn, between his little dog nipping at my ankles and his golden brown butterball gut, I felt uncomfortable. I was looking for a pop-up timer on his well baked ass. In the end I did get through all the "you know what I'm saying?" references and not kicking the dog once...on purpose that is.
   Had another customer who owned a child a few weeks back. Now the kids are and have been out of school since May 20th here. Yeah for us, damn road obstacles! But back to the story, well since the child is out of school what better way to keep him out of your hair then to tell him go see if the repair guy needs any help. And darn if that kid didn't stick to me like a dog's tongue on his own...(you get the point). I had to run a new wire along the outside of their home. Of course 80% of the house I had to get to had 4' high bushes in front of it. Not so bad if it hadn't rained the night before. Needless to say I knocked most of the water off the leaves, with my face, UGH!!! Then I get to the porch where this child's toes are in flip flops 3" from my head.  The kid never said anything, just watched me like a hawk watches a field mouse. Gave me an odd feeling, but I then remembered, it's not the kids fault he's dumb, it's his parents fault for being such close DNA matches. It got to the point where I had to ask him to move so that I could get my wire through yet another very wet bush. I felt like getting the kid to hold my wire then shoving him into the bush. But that wouldn't be very customer oriented, now would it?
   On a side note, you know what's fun to do? Ask a customer if you may use their restroom, and imply that it's so you can do a #2. Tried it twice in my 17 years as a repirman, didn't work either time. Damn I would've built a nest, not like I want my butt touching where your butt touches...lol.
Have a great day,
Marc

Oh The Jobs I've Done

Well its' been over a month since I've last posted, but in my defense I've been busy with the honey to do list and people visiting us....sooooo. Not too many fruitcakes as of late at my job, so there is another reason for my lack of posting. I did have a lady come to my van window when I pulled into their driveway and speak AT me, with what I figured was here outside voice. And only like 6 inches from my face, nothing like a women shouting at you that close. I think I could feel facial hair moving from here breath winds...not pleasant! But since I haven't had any overly fun customers lately, I figured I might write about some of my past jobs, and I have had a lot of past jobs! First job that I would like to talk about was not my very first job ever, but was early in my job getting career. It was a McJob as I like to call it. Now most of the time you could find me in the back walk-in eating pickles out of the 5 gallon bucket and slurping down OJ. And I would grab a few McNuggets to get the pickle breath off me. But the real kicker to this job was how I lost it, I was fired for sexual harassment. I, being the kind hearted person that I have always been, felt the need to make a not so pretty girl feel good about herself. How, you might ask could I, a simple little fellow do something like this? Simply by grabbing her butt, this I thought at the time might just give her the self confidence she needs in this hard reality we live in. But instead of the self boost I was hoping for, just got me let go. One good thing is that I learned a valuable life lesson from this experience, never eat that many pickles in one sitting. Another job as a youth I had was at a wood pallet place, here they would refurbish pallets then resell them. No big deal, right?! I get there on my first day and I would say about 30 minutes into the shift I hear a siren and see some guy leaving with his hand all wrapped up. The boss then comes over to me and explains that I will be changing jobs due to an unfortunate event. Meaning the guy I just saw leave with his hand half ripped off was on this piece of machinery he wants me to now jump onto, needless to say I quit that job within 10 minutes of that news. Had a job at Taco Bell, but that was me sitting in the back walk-in eating yellow cheese and cinna-twist. I've had numerous jobs as a dishwasher/cook at some of the corporate places like Friday's, Red Lobster, Outback, etc...Good place to meet people and go find parties, but that's about it. Couldn't handle that lifestyle anymore, so glad I did it, but no more. Had a job at a bowling alley when I was in Southern California, I never knew how many Asians lived in this part of the world, nor did I know how much they like to bowl?! The part I liked about this job was when these Asians came to bowl, you couldn't get a pair of bowling shoes under the size 5, all taken. Little feeted people bowling, I'm sorry that's funny to me! Some other places I've worked, Uhaul, Sbarro's, Dominoes, MCI/ Verizon Business, I was a paperboy, Bell Atlantic, Bill Bateman's, Rainbow vacuums salesman, Hi Gear Auto, Papa Johns and a few more that at this point I can't remember. So there you have the life of a slacker before he walked into responsibility. Hey but it has made me the smart ass I've become today. And for that I'm thankful...
Hope everyone is enjoying this hot weather as much as I do working outside in it,
Marc