Wasn't Expecting That!!!

I was talking with my daughter the other day about my job and this blog, when she brought up a customer that I had forgotten about. Thinking about it makes me laugh now, but not so much at the time that it happened. Ok this happened about 5 1/2 years ago, I had only been with my company and in this state for about 6 months and was still getting acclimated with the area. I pull up grab my equipment and go to the house. An older lady comes to the door and explains the problems she's having. I do my regular checking of stuff and find that I need to go inside to figure out the problem. She lets me in, now she is maybe 5' 6" tops, and wearing a zebra pattern robe with what looks like Muppet fur all around the edges, she's on crutches and talking about her needing surgery. We check a few things in the living room...etc. It comes down to that it's probably the jack in the bedroom, so I ask would it be ok if I go in there to check it? "Sure honey feel free to do what you need." I turn the corner to go into the bedroom and that's when my spidey senses started to tingle. I first see hot pink silk sheets on the bed, with more zebra print stuff thrown in. The jack of course is right next to the bed. Now I have to maneuver around a tripod with a video camera, and then there is a computer attached to that, next to the bed. Not a lot of room to move around either, but I make do. I then see an open jar of half used Vaseline on the dresser. This makes me start to shutter when then I noticed older women see through panties hanging off different door knobs. Now I'm a fun person, so once I fixed the problem I had to ask, "what's with all the STUFF ma'am?!" She then had no problem telling about how she does foot fetish and smoking fetish online videos. Guys want her to...you get the idea. But in her living room is pictures of all her grand kids, kids, family. Uhm who else would not like to go to Granny's for Thanksgiving? Look, what people do in their own homes is their business, but could we perhaps clean that stuff up if someone is coming there?
Here's to all the perverts out there that keep Granny in business and still smoking after all these years,
Marc

Halloweirdo

It is the time of the year again where the leaves are changing colors, it's getting darker earlier, and the freaks around here are making up their very own Halloween decorations. Now I'm totally fine with the holiday that starts the seasons off, especially this year, cause my grandson turns one in a few days and it just kind of revitalized my Halloween spirit all together. But riding around and seeing what people are coming up with makes me laugh, like the washing machine on a persons front porch all decked out in orange and purple lights. Now this is probably the closest this particular appliance has had electricity run towards it in I'd say a few years. Still not sure if the scary skull and cross bones blanket covering the trailer windows are for Halloween or are just the most coolest/awesomest curtains they could find. And yes I said blankets, I've seen aluminium foil, trash bags, sleeping bags, and even a piece of cardboard as window treatments. They also like to make haystacks into spiders, which is kinda cool, and it gives the kids a reason to spray paint something. I've seen things hanging from trees that I'm not really sure what they are made of or what they are supposed to be, but we will call them dirty ghosts for now. Then you have a person that doesn't have enough love for a dog to bring them inside, EVER, but finds the time to decorate the dog house/old 55 gallon drum. Or the one guy that dresses up his goats? I really like the houses that incorporate last years Christmas lights, why they are still up no clue, but heck your almost there now...keep'em up. The one place I went to, had so much colorful trash outside I wasn't really sure if it was for the holiday or the people just liked bright things all over their yard. Don't get me started on some of the things I've seen carved into pumpkins...lol rednecks.
Hope everybody has a safe a Happy Halloween,
Marc

Really?!

So today was a crappy day, and of course all the wonderful people in the world seem to need help on these kind of days. The first job I had today was to fix something for a man from New York, and when I'm having a bad morning, the last thing I want is a very talkative person just yapping away in my ear. He is like a few customers in the sense he thinks he knows my job better than I. Now in some cases I would not dispute this, but today, I do. He just keeps talking and telling me what is not happening for him. Now his accent is very thick in that Italian New York style voice, and he just keeps talking. Just for mental picture, imagine Vinnie Barbarino telling you how to do your job. For those that are too young to remember Vinnie, use this link-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pJbn7q19WZk&noredirect=1. If I hear someone say "they are just trying to bust my balls" again I'm gonna scream. Basically the customer plugged the wrong thing into the wrong part and it made it not work. Once I was done the customer told me, "good thing your here, I have no clue about these computers." WHAT?! You just lectured me on how to do all this, now you play dumb?But the day is about done, I can look back and laugh at it, but damn, I need these customers later in the day. And on a side note, I leave a card with my work cell number wrote on the back for the customers to call me directly in case they need my assistance again. No biggie, better than getting a repeat and the customer feels like you care...fair enough. I get a call hell I'd say about a year ago from a VERY irate gentleman, asking me "Is this Marc?" Me, "Yes." Him, "who the ____ are you and why are you leaving my wife your number?!" Now why this wife didn't explain to her husband who I was, or the fact that my name was on a business card that has our company logo on it might have been a clue, but he choose not to investigate and instead scream at me.
Please yell at your wife for cheating before you call me,
Marc

Pet Pee'ves

Today I write about something that irritates me more than any other thing I've come across in my profession. Now before I start to rant, I would like to explain that I have seen a many strange things in peoples houses. I've been in houses you could eat off the floor, and houses that I don't even like to walk in with my boots on. I've seen peoples weird hobbies/obsessions, odd art, odd furniture, even odd looking kids in weird objects(whole other story), etc...But my biggest gripe has to be people with indoor animal that don't make them do their business outdoors. Case in point, older lady with a lot of crap in the house, has a few cats and a chihuahua. The dog's name was Little Big Head, but she called it LBH for short?! Well LBH liked a certain phone jack in this house, would have been nice to know this prior to me kneeling down, and he liked to relieve himself on this jack. Well the little guy has one hell of a bladder, or she is REALLY that lazy. My pants at the knee section went to an instant wetness, no semi-soaking, just straight to a cold chill on the knee. After I calmed down from that surprise, I touched the jack. Did you know dog urine will start to become like an industrial strength glue if not cleaned off...now I do! So I asked if it would be ok if I could put the jack higher so that LBH couldn't reach it, after some discussion she agreed. Why there was a discussion is beyond me, but I'm the crazy one!!! One last note I have seen dog poop on a customers living room floor that was white and starting to flake. Wasn't on the direct walking path but it was next to the couch. If the serviceman sees it and he doesn't live there, shouldn't the home owner have seen it too?
Have a better day,
Marc

Everybody Got To Live Somewhere

Today I had an order to put service in at a customers house, no big deal. So I went to where our equipment is and did everything on my side that had to be done. But arriving at the address of the residence, I see an old pull behind camper. There was a dog and a dog house, which frankly look better put together than the camper, a small make shift front porch, and a few beer cans scattered around the porch. I knock on the camper and out comes the most ______ of a women. I'll let you fill in the blank. She wore a robe that her stringy/greasy hair seemed to cling to like velcro. The wonderful aroma of cigarettes and Lysol bellowed out of the small abode, and it kinda made me cough a little. After asking a few questions I kind of surveyed the area and determined that I couldn't do the work until a buried wire was placed. So I went back to explain this to the lovely women in the camper. Who would've known THIS is what was going to set her off?! I was then explained to in great detail about how she is on disability and that she can't live without her phone and that "at any minute she could go into one of her spells!" I don't know when I became a bartender or a psychologist, but people feel the need to tell me things that I shouldn't know about random strangers!!! But after the long feel sorry for me story, I again explained there was nothing I could do to help her at this time. Now don't think I'm a person that doesn't have compassion, but where I live, I would say about 58% of the people are on some sort of disability. Hence the reason I can never get a fully charged www.Hoveround.com/Wheelchairs @ WalMart. The real moral to the story is...every bodies got to live somewhere.

Ok that's my random story for the day,

Marc

Just Put It Anywhere

Here you have a young 20 something male from the Philippines living in a one bedroom apartment. He sleeps on the mattress on the floor. But this space is much more than a bedroom, he has magically turn it into a gaming room /dining room /library /and I think a bathroom to an extent. I was there to fix his internet problem, ok no problem. Now I said it was a one bedroom apartment, but I heard multiple people in that one bedroom, yet no one ever came out. And I think I heard an animal in there too? Whatever, back to my friend, he had just spent a couple hundred dollars on his new PlayStation and wanted to play!!! Now he was explaining to me how many friends he had online and that they were missing his extremely great gaming skills, and that I needed to get him "back in there!" as he said. Now as you can see from the picture above, there are things thrown everywhere, and some of these things had an odor to them. Just a side note, I went back by this place about a month ago and the maintenance men had the apartment GUTTED...and I mean GUTTED, down to studs. But my questions about this certain job are, one is this a better place that he lives in now then from where he came? Two, you have enough ambition to find a ride to a store to buy a PlayStation, yet you can't pick up a thing off your floor? Three, is there even a reason for him to bath, cause I would think you would just get dirty when you sat down ANYWHERE in this place. But the happy ending to the story is it was working when I left. You know when a person says excuse the mess they usually clean up, but just hadn't that day or so...he never said anything about the mess...

Putt Putt

So I am starting this as a way to kinda get things off my chest. I have learned one thing in all my years of being a service tech to the general public, people can dress up and buy expensive things to make themselves look the way they want in public, but you CAN'T hide who you  REALLY are at home! And most of the things I will write about are these things people can't hide, and I find humor in it....so will you, hopefully. Ahh and one other thing, I'm not a very good grammar person.
That said, here is a story of an older gentleman that I had to work at his house about a month ago. Very nice older man, very clean house (that is always a plus!!!). Well we had to go into the basement to check on his trouble. He was explaining some things to me about the problem, when I thought I heard a little putt putt come from his backside. "Nah, he wouldn't do that while I'm RIGHT here." I said to myself, but then a slew of other putt putts followed. Yet he never batted an eye or even looked as if he knew what he was doing. At this point I'm thinking, come on man, you gotta feel it, even if you don't hear it?! About 6 minutes of this went on and I'm fighting back the tears so that I don't laugh. But really, how professional can one be with the other person not playing fair. I tried to find the trouble as fast as I could...15 minutes later and a bombardment of putt putts, I found the trouble. This customer was very happy I fixed his problem, where I was very happy to just leave the basement.
Good Times,
Marc