My Fellow Compadres

I would like to start by saying I really do enjoy my job. I literally don't have anyone staring over my shoulder for 8 hours. And the people I have to deal with, no matter how pleasant or repulsive, only usually last anywhere from a couple of minutes to a few hours. Now unlike some, my coworkers are people I have to either call for help in programming something or other techs for assistance, not a person on the other side of a cubicle. Again for the most part these are civil exchanges. If you don't like the person your dealing with, you can just hang up...oops. I have had some real winners on the other end of the line. One lady liked singing to me while she was doing her part of the work order. Not that I would care, but she really couldn't carry a note even if it had a handle on it. Do you know how hard it is not to laugh at someone that singing at you? I call it long distance karaoke. Then you have the people that wanna talk to you about other weird things while your trying to get a quick fix for the customer that your standing in front of. And then they expect you to answer them back?! "I'm sorry, I was watching soft porn on the customers TV, what did you say again?" Then there is super tech, he is without a doubt the biggest douche(http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=douche) I've ever met! Not only is he a one upper, there isn't anything he hasn't done. He's built house for 17 years, did electrical work for 12 years, tree trimming for 10 years,  in the Navy for 4 years, he ran 6-8 crews at a time on job sites, and still had time to learn/master/& teach small orphan children the art of origami. And he's only 40 years old?! We, as in me, do not call him for ANYTHING at ANYTIME! Then we have my lovable 4' 6" supervisor, this is a man that is in charge of people that do communication work, and has no clue how to talk to people. If you ask him something that has to do with our job, he emails you the info on who to call and ask? Or tell him something is wrong, say at a cell tower site, he has no clue where the location of the site might be. How can you manage people when you really have no clue what the hell they do? Just a funny side note about my boss, we had to order uniforms one time, and he was using his computer and a projector to show us where and how to do the ordering. So this web page is up on the screen and he has already filled it out with his order, ok no big deal till my buddy says, "look at the sizes of his pants." Now this man is short, but his waist was 42" and the length was 28"...now think about this, this man couldn't hug his waist with his own legs (just using this as an example as if this was physically possible). Now the height, not his fault, the fat belly TOTALLY his fault. I'm sure when he comes back from this 2 week vacation he is on, we can expect the pants to be getting let out a size or two. We have another little guy that does the same thing I do just with a different style. He has been known to try and fix most of his problems from his van. There is no way you can fix something 20 ft. in the air from the comforts of your work vehicle. I have seen him do twice the necessary work just so he wouldn't have to climb the ladder. Then someone else usually has to go back and make it right. I would like to compare his work to a florist who is allergic to flowers, ain't much getting accomplished. But don't get me wrong, I have seen him on a pole before, just one arm is wrapped around the cable and the other one is holding the ladder. How you can do any work up there with both hands holding on for dear life is beyond me. As I said before, I really do love my job, it's the little things that make it colorful and interesting.
Well I hope everyone enjoyed whatever it is that you celebrated and to everyone have a safe and happy New Year,
Marc

Hey Whatca Watchin?

I'm writing this today because yesterday I went inside a house and was taken off guard by what I saw. Lets put a little backdrop on this before we just plunge into the weirdness. Pull up to the house at the end of this nice little cul de sac. Side note, here is the definition to cul de sac...A cul-de-sac (literally "butt of the sack" in French) ha ha ha, a well kept yard, nothing really out of the ordinary. I knock on the door and a gentleman probably in his mid 30's answers. After explaining that the trouble is inside, I follow him into the house. As we go through the living room I notice his TV has a soft porn movie playing on it?! Is this normal for anyone else out there? Is this proper TV guest coming in etiquette? I never heard or saw another person the whole time I was there. Hell, he didn't even seem phased by this, and it was still on when I was done about 45 minutes later. Not sure if it was the same movie or not. This in turn brings back a memory for me when I first started working here. I went into a trailer park and where I come from, trailer parks weren't as prevalent as they are here. I step into this wonderful piece of crap trailer and on the nasty cigarette burned couch laid a dirty little man. We exchanged pleasantries and as I start to pass him I noticed he was watching Jerry Springer. And automatically I say "JERRY!!!" and he says, "you like Jerry Springer?" I then start to say "Yes nothing but..." and stop myself before I say something that might really offend this guy. But really, how weird is it to see someone watching something, that is probably gonna happen to them anyways. I mean, this guy looked like he was waiting for his copy of free tickets to be on Jerry Springer. I always enjoy going into the Spanish speaking homes. No matter what the show on their TV is about, it has a half dressed crazy women in it. Never know what they are talking about, but they always seem excited.  Here are some links for examples: http://msnlatino.telemundo.com/ & http://www.univision.com/ Does anyone know how much fun it is trying to set up anything for a customer that has no clue what you're saying and everything they have is programmed in a different language? It's AWESOME!!! Don't believe me, go to an ATM select Spanish, and try to get money out, you might be able to get through it, but it's not easy. Now this example is only for those of you that don't speak Spanish!

And on that note, Good morning, and in case I don't see ya, good afternoon, good evening, and good night!
Marc

Who Crazy? You, Nooooo!!!

When your driving down a driveway and a man walking towards you on that same driveway, stops you and tells you "the house your looking for is the one with the crazy a$$ lady and her blank blank son. You know the trailer on the right." How do you think the job is going to go from there? Well it went even better than I expected. The same gentleman came back down the driveway and went right into the trailer about 10 minutes after our first encounter. I'd say about 45 seconds later out of the trailer he came on a cell phone. Now who he was talking to, I have no clue, but what was he saying...I heard that LOUD and clear. Every other word was a form of a curse word. Now he had variations of these words I have never heard in my life, but some seem to work out ok. Then 6-7 minutes later my customer, the son of the crazy a$$ lady, was home. He too proceeded into the trailer, and he too came out screaming expletives? Maybe she really is crazy?! The last thing I could make out was "you all's just trying to embarrass me and all I want is to get my Internet installed!!!" The whole time this is going on, and I'm trying to do my best to stay focused on my job and not the carnival that's going on out front, but wouldn't you know it a damn rooster is sneaking up behind me and trying to peck the back of my boots. He, the rooster that is, feels that I'm to close to his flock of females. So now my head has to be on a swivel, my work in front of me, a bunch of crazy people to my right and a pecker trying to come around from the rear...lmao, sorry but it's true. So tell me your cubicle job is better than mine, I think not! Now if you haven't figured it out yet, I work for a telecommunications company, and some people still to this day are paranoid about people tapping their lines. I usually get it from the ederly, since they seem to be the last ones with home phones anymore. "I think they tapped my lines, they're listening in on me!" Who are "they" and what valuable information do you have that they need to use some outdated spy like Maxwell Smart type line tapping device? So I usually tell them "they" can now do this from satelites and don't need to risk their men getting so close to the suspect. That always seems raise a little concern with said crazy person. On a different type of crazy, I had a customer once who had a pet deer, see.

                                                                                                                                                                                                             

 

So You Wanna Talk About It, Huh?

People say and do weird things and I understand that's everywhere, but why some feel so comfortable talking about private things with a complete stranger just because they're in their house, is beyond me. I understand telling a bartender your troubles, your usually drunk and don't mind talking. But what about a repairman looks like they can be confided in? First thing that comes to mind is a customer tried starting a conversation with the topic of testicular cancer?! What do you even say to that? Or the lady that was explaining to me about her ex cutting her phone line, slashing her tires, following her around town, and how he's really jealous of her being around other men. "Whoa, wait, what? I'm in your place right now!" Never ever involve yourself in a weird domestic dispute, that was the quickest I've ever fixed anything. Now there is the occasional elderly person that is just lonely and wants someone to talk to. I have no problem with that, just when they seem a little more than eager to wanna pinch, touch, or even rub your back...very creepy, very creepy! "Ma'am, I'm here for a service, not that kind of service!" You know one of them completely ignored that and was still trying to paw all over me lol. Must have had her hearing aid off. You have the people that like to tell you all the things that are going wrong in there lives, "My Mom wants me to move out because I won't pay her rent and says all I do is drugs in here when she's not home." Ok, you look about 37, maybe it is time to move on? Or the guy that was in total disbelief that he was fired for calling out sick too much. "How many days did you call out?" "12 days out of 23 last month." How did he keep his job that long? Then you have the church people, please don't be offend by this term. These are the ones that are going to tell you about God from the minute you walk in the door till the minute you leave. I'm all for what you believe in, but do we really need to cram it down ones throat? An invite to your church or even a pamphlet is fine, but to break out your leather cased bible and start reading it to me like your acting it out, is just slightly overboard. There was the old pervert that liked to go to all the local bar/restaurants and try to friend up with the female waitresses/bartenders so he could get pictures with them. He tried showing them all to me while I was working. He loved Hooter's, imagine that, but he really thought he had a legitimate shot at being with any of these women. The other thing about going to peoples homes, they feel comfortable there, and by all means they should. But if I'm coming in and you know it, put on the proper attire please. Men this means more than just tighty whiteys and a robe that's not tied shut. Women, this means a bra, especially if you are over the 300 lb. mark and are no taller than 5' 3"...you know who you are too!  NEVER is it like the movies on Cinemax, no hot women coming to the door half dressed, just Honey Boo Boo's mother in a nightie.

 I guess it takes all kinds to make this lovely world go round,
Marc