Call Me If You Care ;)

I often give out my work cell number to my customers for the main reason of not getting repeat reports. Our company has a statistic, well they have a lot of statistics, but the one I'm more concerned about is the one where if you fix a trouble, the same phone number shouldn't be called back in on a trouble for at least 5 days, or it's considered a repeat. And this also gives the customer a sense that I care, which I do, but it's more for the repeats. With that said, I have customers that will call a trouble into the company right after I leave, why, I just gave you MY number?! Or you have the other end of the spectrum, where I get a call and the person will say "Marc, is that you? Well you fixed my phone 4 years ago and you said call you if it starts up again. You remember the last time it was down at the corner?" 4 years ago, I'm lucky I remember how to get home. Then you have the customers that like to call you just to tell you they've switched over to your competitors. It was a guy that lives right down the street from me, he kept having a reoccurring trouble that seemed to clear whenever I would get there. Well I hadn't heard from him in awhile and thought we might have finally got it. But he calls me on a sunny day and I asked if it was back and that I was on my way, when he stopped me and explained to me that he was going to the cable company for his phone service. I let him get his little spiel out, then asked him why he called me? He said "Just to let you know"...really, does it make you feel better letting me know that a pain in the ass customer is now going to be the cable companies pain in the ass, I was kind of happy but it was the point that he called to personal tell me he was leaving us. Good bye! Then just the other day another customer who lives in the sticks and expects large city service called me and was explaining about calling the main office and not getting a return postage sticker yet. He told me "Well I had your number from when you dropped off that modem to me, and that now I'm with the cable company and I'm getting 25 megs and it's great..." When I interrupted him and said, "Sorry to stop you in the middle of your cable company commercial, but why did you call me sir?" "Oh, to tell you that you can come by here and pick up this modem." Yeah, I'll be right over?! I've even had someone call me and tell me their neighbor gave them my number. I feel like a hooker, people passing around my work phone number, maybe I should just go put it in the bathroom stalls at the local restaurant. But the main lesson learned is that no matter what level of craziness the customer may be at, they gonna get my number!
Marc

Mother Nature's Sense of Humor

The long delay since the last post has been due to a crap load of rain, snow, and now today freezing rain. And for someone that has to be outdoors for the majority of his job, it sucks! But low and behold, some customers make it even more miserable. In the first week, which was a majority of rain, I had encountered a lovely driver who felt the need to try and splash the guy that has to be in the rain fixing things, while he's trying to set up his ladder next to the road. Then I had a women who insisted I fix her internet as soon as possible, but wouldn't let me in her house cause I was all wet?! Touché to the elderly women who talked to me from inside her house while I stood on her porch that had no cover over it, for 15 minutes. There really isn't that many questions you can have about a trouble that was now fixed. My fault, should have just called her to prove that it worked, and than we could of had the in depth conversation about nothing. I am sorry you have no one around to talk to, but I'm getting soaked here. Now to the person that has a driveway made of dirt and grass, what did you think a heavy van and 3 days of constant rain would do to the passageway into your single wide palace? Of course I'm gonna make a rut, get some gravel or something. But the kicker here is that their trash was all over the yard. Priorities people! Then mid day Thursday we get the snow, once again another favorite of mine to work in. Then this fine Friday we got a wonderful frozen rain to coat everything in a thick layer of ice. Now yes, I work outside and know this is just part of it, but to have to deal with the idiots that we do along with the bad weather, I just call foul. I like the people that really have no reason to go out in this weather but just feel the need to be obstacles to the rest of us that do have to. Every one's had to have seen the person that scraps the ice off their windshield just in front of them. Not the whole window, just a small circle right in front of their face?! I really believe that if they could, they would just do two small holes for their eyeballs that would be it. Or the car that is just stopped in the middle of the road, for no real reason, just stopped there to look for something in the car. "No one else is on the road cause of how crappy it is, guess I can park it here and search for my lipstick." We were actually told to get off the road today because of how bad the roads are getting. But on a good note, we are only 53 days away from Spring! And on a side note, this is something that I posted on my Facebook page, I think everyone should check themselves in a mirror, if possible, before you answer the door. Check for bats in the cave, because once I saw this thing, I never made eye contact again with this customer. I literally talked to the booger. Some might think it would be polite to tell a person of this, but the whistle was so mesmerizing and slightly lulling that I just couldn't. And might want to check ones teeth or tooth in some cases, for food particles. No one likes to be waved at by a piece of broccoli, this goes to a friend of mine named Justin. He knows who he is, and he knows that I know he tried to be all sexy talking to those teachers and had NO CLUE that broccoli was there mocking him...LOL good times!!!
Go Ravens,
Marc

Today Was a Good Day...

This one is just about today, nothing special, just a Saturday that went smoothly. A rarity but they do happen. It started off with having to go check a no dial tone at a Mexicans home. Ok, get there and what do you know, no one speaks English. Now as I have stated before, it's hard to communicate when neither party knows what the other is saying. But I have come to find that Spanish speaking people that don't understand English always seem to answer you with "Yes." Like, "Where are the phone jacks located?" "Yes", or "How long has it not been working?" "Yes",  "Do you speak any English?" "Yes". So technically they're not lying they know yes... She showed me the other phone jack in her bedroom so that I could check this also to make sure it worked. Ok, but the babies crib is shoved up against the wall that it's on. I had to put my fingers through the rungs of the crib to get to it. I had a hard time getting it plugged in with my hands, imagine how well the baby will be able to get to it, and to the electrical plug that's right next to it, which the cordless phone is plugged into. So no safety covers for this family. "You see the baby can get to this, right?" "Yes" We got done with everything and they were happy, know how I know, they said "Yes" with a smile. I then had to go out in the country, where cell service doesn't work and the hint of cow crap is EVERYWHERE!!!  I got to pet a donkey, lucky me. Donkey hair is not very fluffy, nor silky as one might think. Fix the country persons phone, went to house, no one there, win for me. No customer contact is sometimes a good thing. I then found myself going back on the other side of the county, nice 27 minute ride for me, to find that the three stooges are now moving and installing trailers. Why might you ask would I call them the three stooges? Because these dumb *&^%s took out everything hanging across the street from the pole to my customers house. Now how do you not figure that something that is at least 15 feet high in the air on the back of a trailer is not going to hit anything that might be going across the road? Who needs brains when you got a truck, Get 'er' Done. It's not just a saying around these parts, it's a way of life! I then got to clean out my van and write this...so as I said it was a good day. Now off in 15 minutes and I gonna watch some football. Go Ravens!!!
Enjoy, Marc

Party Like An 80 Year Old

I just want to start this off by saying that I'm not a big fan of having to work in old age homes. Something about the smell of adult urine, and old people screaming just kinda freaks me out! That said, one of my jobs today was in an old age home. I go to the customers room and knock, really loud, cause they don't hear so well, then go back to the manager's office to get her to let me in. We go back to the room where she opens the door and yells the customers name, guess what, he was there?! She leaves and I go in very cautiously, and find the man on his bed pulling up his pants. Ugh, "sorry sir." "No your fine." In my head thinking no I'm not, ewh! Start to check the phone and find his cordless has no power. Basically he plugged his cordless phone into a socket that is turned on and off by a light switch. And the light switch was turned off.  How I found this out is by tracing out his cords one to the phone jack and one to the wall socket. The problem here is that the phone cord went across his little table, but now knowing what it was under/running around on the table makes me a little sick. A dirty pair of undies and something that looked as if it was white once, but now is a brown stained color. Why? Why? Why? At this time the gentleman got himself together and joined me in the living room. Now he got a little close to me, more than I would like but he's old, I'll let it slide. Then he put his hand towards my manhood/junk and kinda brushed it?! Figuring he's old and senile, I just let it go, thinking no he didn't do that on purpose, but I did raise an eyebrow.  I then notice a few other things in the room that started to make me feel uncomfortable, like his socks dripping wet and hanging from the 42" TV. The pair of Depends hanging half in and half out of the garbage can, and SOMETHING was shut in his refrigerator door and hanging out. All I know is that it wasn't, from what I could see, a part of any food group that I have ever witnessed. I made sure he knew what had happened and tried to get him to understand so that we wouldn't have this issue in the future. I offered my goodbyes and wouldn't you know it...AGAIN with the rubbing across my pants in the groin section. I feel used and abused now! So is this the kind of crap I'm gonna have to deal with in the new year? Now I went to my van in the parking lot after I was finished, I wanted to get this down while it was still fresh in my head. Just finished typing it up then turn to find the customer I just left, 2" from my drivers window smoking a cigarette. Holy Shit!! I rolled down my window and ask him, "Everything ok sir?" "Yes, just loafing around." OMG get the $%#@ away from me! I said once again in my head. This trip did not help my phobia of old age homes, if anything it has set my progress back.
Happy New Years all, I need a drink!
Marc