The Yuletide Log

Well Merry whatever you celebrate at this time of the year! It's been almost a year since I've even looked at this blog...now I figured I had wrote all I could on customer experiences, but low and behold I had myself a winner today. I pull up to this singlewide today, now we've had many days of rain in our area over the past 2 weeks, so EVERYTHING around this place was either mud or just standing water. I get to the house and this yappy Pomeranian was going nuts. Then I hear my customer yelling "be quite Cuddles!" You named this loud, rabid, shaking, lint ball Cuddles?! To each his own I guess...So I slop thought their yard to get to the phone box around back, only to be met by the smell of human waste with a hint of cow. I find that the problem is going inside the trailer. About that time the lady comes out the back door, I explain that the trouble is inside. I asked her once I disconnected the troubled wire to check her phones inside to see which ones were working. She came back and told me all of them except her bedroom phone and the one in the bathroom(yes people still to this day have a phone in their bathroom). After about 20 minutes of trying to test this line, I determined that I just needed to replace the wire all together. I grab the tools from my van to start this procedure, all the while tracking mud from her backdoor to the bathroom. Now after a few tries of going from underneath her trailer(as far as I would under that mud pit), back into the bathroom trying to work the glow rod thru, I came back into the trailer and find that the bathroom door is shut. I look at the misses and she says "He's in there, it is morning you know..." WTF do you mean he's in there? So you're telling me that your husband knows I'm working in that room and still proceeded to go in there to drop the Cosby kids off at the super bowl?! Now I'm not sure if it's just me, or does this sound a little rude/gross to anyone else? So as I wait outside for him to finish his morning constible, I hear water gushing from underneath the trailer. Low and behold I just figured out where that human waste smell was coming from, that pipe went to a cow field behind this country castle. So this sound was my cue letting me know the Mr. has finished his early morning exercises. As I opened the backdoor the wife was there spraying some kind of flowery Lysol product. 30 minutes later and almost passing out from holding my breath, the job was complete. I'm guessing the moral to this story is, purchase a cordless phone instead of making someone repair a phone in your latrine.

My Monday Is Better Than Yours

I see it's been almost a year since my last post (10 months), but then again, no one really reads this crap so what does it matter? Let's just say it's been an odd New Year so far...I've lost my grandfather earlier this month and gained a pig as the newest family member. But enough about me, the tale I bring to the table today is about a customer and her 2 Boxer mixed puppies. Now I had this customer on Saturday, and while I was walking back and forth around her house to fix her problem, I noticed a dead headless chicken sitting in her front yard. Not knowing that she was watching me out the window, I must of had some WTF face going on, when I hear "Yeah, that's a dead chicken!" So you already know that it's here, and yet no drive inside to remove it from your yard?! (I said this in my head, because once again I work in the mountains of Tennessee, and this seems to be a norm of some sorts) Well I get her fixed and go start my glorious one day weekend. I get into work today and have a safety meeting or as I call it, the old smoke up the ass procedure. After said meeting I look at my job list. Low and behold Ms. Dead Chicken in her yard is my first trouble...says a lot about my fixing skills! I try to call her and get no answer. When I finally get to her house, I walk to the box on the side of the house to check the trouble. Noticing that the dead chicken had been removed. I then go towards the side door that I used Saturday to knock. I'm greeted by the two Boxer mix puppies before I even get on the car port. I get the old barking and trying to become friendlier with my crotch than I'd like them to be. I shoo them away and when I get to the door, I see a grown man's tighty whiteys hanging out of the dog door.

These kind of things are starting to become more normal to me, but I will take a picture of it...cause that some funny shit right there! Ok back on subject, customer finally comes to the door and says something about the underwear, to which I replied "Not my job to ask you how you party here, but how can I fix it?" So we laughed it off and went inside. I asked her a few questions about her trouble she was reporting, then she says out of nowhere, "Yeah that's the chicken in here." I look around her 5'2" 190lb. roundish frame to see what, but that damn headless chicken sitting on her living room floor.

At this point, besides wanting to take a picture of it, cause who in the hell is gonna believe this without visual proof, I mustarded up the words huh and uhmmmm. I'm just going to say that if this happened at my house, my wife would be going into a mass hysteria while trying to bleach the whole house. And yet this women brings it up so nonchalantly, makes me think drugs or alcohol or both have to be involved. We finished up our pleasantries, I left my number (for phone repair purposes only, cause I'm to old to party like that) and went on my way with a slightly different outlook about my Monday.
Well hope everybody has/had a better Monday than me,
Marc